It is not unusual at all to be a caregiver and ask yourself whether you’re doing as much as you possibly can or not. You care about your senior family member, of course, and you want the best for her. If you’re not doing all you can, are you really doing your best?
This Is a Myth
You know that you’re busy from the moment your eyes open in the morning until the last possible moment you stay awake. So the news that this belief is a myth is probably not a shock to you. Deep in your heart and your brain, though, you worry about whether it’s really true. It isn’t. Your perspective is skewed a bit and you want to believe that there’s more you can do in order to be a better caregiver.
You’re Doing Exactly What You Can
Remember that you’re doing exactly what you can with the resources you have available to you. If anything, you’re probably doing too much. That fact doesn’t help, though. What might help is to sit down and give yourself a moment to visualize what you would tell your best friend if your friend were in your place. You’d probably advise your friend to be kinder to herself and to reach out for help more often. If it helps, write down what you would tell your friend and then read it to yourself whenever you need a boost.
Talk Through Your Feelings
Talking about how you’re feeling can help you to deal with the emotions and to work through them. If you don’t have a friend you can do this with, consider talking with a therapist that you trust. Sometimes it isn’t the advice you receive from someone else that helps you to work through your feelings. The solution can often come from simply verbalizing how you’re feeling and letting yourself understand how valid they are.
Get Help from Others When You Need It
Now is the time to start asking other people for help more often. The fact that you’re pressuring yourself to do more is a cue that you need more help. Consider hiring a caregiver from an agency and when someone offers help, take them up on it. These solutions can work together to help you gain a little bit of breathing room.
Remember that your feelings are valid, but that doesn’t mean that they’re always accurate. Sometimes your own perspective is off to the extent that you can’t see the situation the way that it truly is. Be gentle with yourself and take care of you as well as your senior family member.